‘Athan

I heard that song tonight, I almost turned it.. but decided it would be better to listen. It was one of the of the songs that was playing that night long ago when we were all still young - complete with insecurities and high ideals. Do you remember that night? Somewhere outside a city where we all sat in darkness on tail gates and hoods of cars? All those songs we played have become treasured, even the ones I didn’t like.. maybe especially those.

This was the one that was playing when we stared up at the night sky and claimed stars for ourselves and each other. The one that played when you said you’d rather have a meteor. I remember how someone jokingly said you wouldn’t live long, choosing a meteor and something about burning up in the atmosphere.

The song has been achingly haunting since then. I remember the expression on your face as I sang the words softly - you never did mind my singing and for that I am grateful. I recall as the joking and laughs died down and we all lay back to watch the stars dance above us, your eyes seemed fixed somewhere beyond this galaxy, in another universe.

It’s strange what you remember, what seems so glaringly obvious. Why do I remember that? Why do some moments shine so brightly in time? Moments we were happy, times when we were sad.

I wonder if we all knew, but kept it secret, like if admitting it would make it somehow more real. Make it happen that much sooner. But I have to admit.. maybe we were just too wrapped up in our own lives, our desires, our dreams and our angst. It shames me to think so, but we were nothing but always honest.

In the beginning we used to get together and talk about you. We clung to the memories, any memory. There were laughs, so many laughs.. remember when? And what about…? our memories were loud and powerful. There was sadness too, when we recalled when your guard would drop and we saw the ache that was always beneath the surface, we embraced it and each other. But, eventually we all grew apart and drifted away. Still, I remember how we shared those few years.

I don’t know… maybe we thought it would pass.. Maybe we thought it was normal. You always seemed so full of life, but not meant for this place. Maybe we had only borrowed you from another time.